TLG Fixtures Countdown

Just who will Freddy Eastwood be scoring for come the end of the season?

The season starts with a beautiful sunny day, and the Shrimpers line up at the City Ground, a magnificent arena, home to twice European Champions Nottingham Forest. United travel to the venue where legends such as Brian Clough, Trevor Francis and Martin O’Neill made their name against the continents great sides.

Or…

Southend are drawn to play Blackpool at Broomfield Road, with a blustery sea breeze howling in from the Irish Sea on the coldest August day since records began (whenever that mystical day may be). Che Wilson, in particular, is stressed, haunted by the ghost of the 2004 LDV Vans Trophy final.

Wednesday August 24

The Carling Cup campaign starts with the Seasiders drawn away to Coventry City, in the Sky Blues’ first match at their brand spanking new Ricoh Arena. A full house are in attendance as Southend win their first League Cup tie in living memory (come on, it seems that long!), and against one of the top seeds to boot.

Or…

United’s League Cup misery continues as they are dumped out of the competition by League new boys Barnet. A trip to Underhill sees more than half of the club’s season ticket holders unable to make the trip after a draw decrees that only 1200 can make the trip. 759 of these are stranded when the Northern Line shuts down unexpectedly and the London Bus drivers are on strike, missing a last-minute winner from ten-man Barnet.

Saturday December 26 & 27

The new-fangled regurgitation of the old-fashioned Christmas double-header sees the first Football League derby between Southend United and Colchester United for fifteen years. The Boxing Day clash, when the U’s are thrashed 3-0, is followed up by an even bigger win at Griffin Park, with Brentford suitably chastised after inflicting LDV area final misery on Blues five years ago.

Or…

A blip on the Football League computer sees the recommencing of that ancient rivalry between Blues and…Hartlepool United. The longest trip in the division is completed after Shrimpers supporters make the journey by bicycle, boat and foot, starting out sometime before Christmas Day. The next day, a similar technical hitch, unexplained by the League, sees a hotel stop in Birmingham overnight for our foolhardy travellers, before progressing to another ‘seaside’ resort, Swansea City, for a first trip to the White Rock Stadium.

Easter Monday

The return leg of the all-Essex rivalry sees Blues complete a ‘double’ over the north Essex U’s, this time triumphing 5-4, with Freddy Eastwood completing his hat-trick with the last kick of the match, a mis-hit penalty that bounces over hapless custodian Aidan Davison.

Or…

The return leg of the all-Essex rivalry sees Blues lose out amid dubious circumstances against the north Essex U’s. Mark Bentley is sent off after evading a career-threatening tackle is inflicted upon him, and he jumps out of the way. Greg Halford is the guilty party, and he curls home a 35-yard free-kick past Darryl Flahavan just days after his full England debut.

Saturday May 6

The final day of the campaign sees Blues avoid relegation with a 1-0 victory at the hands of Yeovil Town at Huish Park – the first time Blues have beaten their opposition in a League fixture. Again Eastwood is the scorer, consigning the Glovers to an immediate return to Coca-Cola League Two, having believed that they had escaped the drop when Scunthorpe United went 1-0 down at Tranmere Rovers.

Or…

The final day of the campaign sees Blues relegated after a 1-0 defeat at the hands of Yeovil at Huish Park – extending a poor run against Town to six straight League defeats. Freddy Eastwood is the scorer, having made the switch to the Glovers in the festive transfer window, all of the money going to Grays Athletic in contract clauses. The Shrimpers are relegated, completing an immediate return to League Two, with one moron starting a rumour that Scunthorpe United are 1-0 down at Tranmere Rovers, a result which would have saved Blues.

Of course, none of that may happen, but to find out, click here at www.thelittlegazette.com for news of all the key fixtures tomorrow morning.

Robert Craven
www.thelittlegazette.com