"Recently I met Brian Dear, a West Ham great who, in April 1965 scored 5 times in a 6-1 trouncing of West Bromwich Albion, a record for the quickest 5 goals that still stands today. Brian sits in front of me at home games and introduced himself with a smile and a handshake.
As he chatted` I became quite enchanted. I've spent years surrounded by ill-informed, loud mouthed, back-seat managers so a player's-eye view was incredibly refreshing. Brian had just retired as catering manager for Southend United, so at his invitation I found myself attending Friday's game against Leyton Orient.
I've not often partaken of the director's box experience. Some years ago, my Dad took me to a Rotary Club dinner where I felt grimly out of place. I'm a big fella, so in a suit I just look like security. I was once invited into the box at Upton Park and unbelievably found myself in the front row next to Terry Brown, the former chairman, so frantically texted all my mates. "Shove him off" came one blunt reply.
Southend was a very different experience, fantastic food, friendly directors and less suspicion about my presence. The game was a belter as well, the Shrimpers winning 3-0. Brian came up to me before the final whistle and said "Could you present the man-of-the-match award, mate?" I'm telling you now, its impossible to refuse a legend.
As a known West Ham fan, I was waiting for the catcalling to start. I felt like Luis Boa Morte, one of the few players I've seen booed on to the field. Walking out I could feel the springy turf beneath my feet and involuntarily squinted as I moved from the shadows into the bright sodium glare of the floodlights. They announced me and I waved toward the East Stand and there was a polite ripple of applause.
Man of the match was Lee Sawyer, the 18-year-old goalscorer who had become a father the day before so he was wonderfully spaced out. As we handed the champagne over he genuinely enquired:"Is that for me?"
Walking back to the car, Brian came across a ball of litter and hoofed it. It swerved through the air and sailed into a fenced enclosure 20 feet away and I smiled to myself. You can take the boy out of football..... "