Sadly, it didn't work as Stockport went into a two goal lead before half time and Clarkey went in with both feet over the far side from the away stand, so not a great view but the ref didn't hesitate to send him off. From hero to villain in a couple of weeks, that's football for you.
In the meantime Southend supporters were disappearing with the frequency of sexually active girls in a bad horror movie. In fact, some were girls, sexually active or not.
True Blue was the first, though a bloke said to me, "I think he just wants to get back to the pub", as the Stockport stewards decided to behave like Gestapo guards in charge of a concentration camp. "Can we have a word", which was code for, "you will never be seen again." It was all about that old steward bug bear, standing. Though most do it with a bit more charm than this lot.
Anyway, back to the game, if we must. I'm quite enjoying the 'B' film references. If the whole match experience was a movie, think your worst 70's disaster, though we gave it a decent go in the second 45.
A first-half double from Anthony Pilkington gave Stockport the platform to go on to a deserved victory.
Though there was enough nerves after we made it 2-1 and with only 10 men to suggest County were there for the taking on another day.
After a dreadful opening spell during which not a single chance was created, Stockport brought the game to life with a superbly-worked goal after 20 minutes.
Carl Baker fed Tommy Rowe on the left, who may just have been in line with the Shrimpers defense, and his low cross was volleyed in by Pilkington from six yards. The first shot on target from either side!
I'll give the linesman on our side the benefit of the doubt here but for every decision after that he was franky terrible. One incident saw him flagging like crazy for a free-kick to the home side when the ref had already blown and given it correctly to us! There was more, but again, back to the match.
The goal lifted Stockport but it was another 11 minutes before the next chance arrived.
This time Rowe swung in a corner kick but Leon McSweeney couldn't direct his header.
The 34th minute saw Southend's first-half chance as Alan McCormack found a bit of space, but drove a low shot well wide from 20 yards.
Stockport doubled their lead four minutes later.
This time Pilkington picked up a neat pass from teenage Matty Mainwaring before rifling home from almost 30 yards.
Southend's cause was further hindered two minutes before the interval when Peter Clarke lunged in on Rowe next to the touchline and was promptly shown the red card by referee Mr Bates.
Moussa had come on for a frequently argumenative Macca, his tackles were getting higher, while after half time Francis replaced the sacrificed Stanislis, in possibily his last Southend appearance, to play centre half.
Stockport continued to dominate in the second period and Pilkington forced Steve Mildenhall into an excellent save before Baker side-footed wide from just 12 yards.
However, the visitors did get a goal back just past the hour mark.
Veteran striker Dougie Freedman played the ball to Alex Revell and he took a touch before firing home an angled drive from 15 yards.
Pilkington drove a half-volley narrowly over the top with time running out, but Stockport's victory was completed with six minutes left.
McSweeney crossed from the right and Rowe volleyed in from ten yards.
Mention for Revell, yes we know he works his socks off, but he really did here, popping up all over the place when a man short, and his strike was first rate.
For a Tilly quote go to www.southendunited.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10444~1523387,00.html, be warned, it might sound a touch similar to previous ones, but that doesn't mean he's wrong, it's just time, especially in January, to do something about it.
For more on the stewarding, the linesman, and the case of the lonely drum, that will have to wait until I've calmed down and my 'Day Tripper' on Monday. And I haven't even started on the Aussie girls hockey team.