Alderton has made no secret of his failure whilst on trial to join United’s youth team during the 1980s – apparently having made an outstanding game in a match against Colchester United at Roots Hall, Alderton performed Michael Jackson’s ‘Moonwalk’, thus taking the ball more than seven steps before releasing it and incurring an indirect free-kick. From the set-piece the U’s scored and Alderton was never offered the chance to sign for the Shrimpers.
As a result he took up a career as a comedian, firstly doing stand-up shows before moving into the world of drama with London’s Burning, where he got in the obligatory mention of Southend United on a day trip to the coastal resort. He has also presented a documentary for Channel Five on the Seasiders, ‘My FC’, whilst continuing a career on the stage, recently performing in a Tom Stoppard play on the south coast.
Throughout it all, Alderton has never lost his devotion to his hometown side, regularly returning to the club to MC Steve Tilson’s testimonial and the annual Meet The Blues Days at Boots & Laces, with his services free of charge. Some may not like his brand of humour, but he nonetheless promotes the club nationally, none less so than in a solid display in SKY One’s ‘The Match’ on Sunday, where the comic kept goal for a celebrity side against a ‘legend’s XI’.
Alderton was playing in front of 50,000 spectators at St. James’ Park in Newcastle, and his defences were breached only twice, by former Manchester United defender Gary Pallister and prolific one-time Glasgow Rangers and Scotland sharpshooter Ally McCoist. Blues boss Steve Tilson was watching, and decided to snap up the TV star’s signature on non-contract terms as Blues still search for a goalkeeper with Bart Griemink injured and Darryl Flahavan suspended for one game.
The actor is unlikely to play – the sheer folly of letting someone who was released by the Shrimpers at 16 ahead of Nick Morgan, the current Seasiders Under-18 shotstopper, who has been with the club in excess of two years, would be astounding – but it nonetheless brings the clash against League Two table-toppers Swansea City to light. Southend can move to within three points of the Welshmen with a win on Saturday, and a big crowd will do much to spur them on.
Speaking to the club’s official website, www.southendunited.co.uk, Alderton said, “It’s amazing to have signed for the club I support. As people will be aware I was here as a youngster but football never really worked out for me”. Thankfully, the 30+ custodian hinted that Tilson had been looked elsewhere, “Southend is far bigger because three points could be at stake this weekend against Swansea. Hopefully I won’t be needed and Tilly will get someone in on time but you never know”.
Alderton has been allocated squad number 24 for the weekend, but it remains to be seen who exactly will be between the sticks in three days’ time. Morgan would come into the side having conceded eight goals in matches against Brighton & Hove Albion Under-18s and Hornchurch in a behind-closed-doors friendly, but options remain thin. One man TLG suggest is suitable for the job is Chelmsford City custodian Paul Nicholls, a former Chelsea reserves ‘keeper who has earned many a plaudit in the non-League scene. The Clarets are without a match this weekend.
Robert Craven
www.thelittlegazette.com